Inertia

I wish you knew how much you meant to me. How deep I loved you. What your smile awakened in me. 

But it’s too late. Some feelings have an expiration date.

—  D.M.

I realised that 

even emotions

have inertia. 

The way we talked 

and connected had 

a momentum. 

It was an actual moment of sparks flying 

combusting in our own hopes and dreams 

and the better versions that we could be

of ourselves, for the other.

I told you everytime 

"I love you"

because it's something bigger

than me or my conscience can handle

I'm always left wanting 

a little more of you.

We gained momentum 

from the first moment,

built it up day-by-day.

Time seemed to be confused

because it couldn't constraint us;

we transcended it's ability.

We played with it, 

stole a second from everybody we knew 

and gave it to the the other

so our lives went by slower

while others sped about.

Creating time loops of memories in my head 

Memories of your laughter,

of your smiles,

of our battles with sleep,

of the seconds you would look at me intently 

Then one day, 

we lost control 

and crashed.

All the momentum lost

The way a car jerks to a halt and 

you're thrown forward without your

better knowledge

Time pushed us forward

without our better knowledge

and the crash hurt

well at least, it hurt me.

Because even if 

you're wearing a seatbelt, 

the crash still hurts.

I try to pick myself up,

try to find out who I am 

in the world where time is ruthless 

to my existence.

One day, 

I couldn't take the silence

and wrote my last letter to you.

I never gave it to you, 

though I carried it around 

with me in false hopes.

I burnt it a week later

because sometimes

you let your words turn to ashes

because you don't mean them anymore.

because sometimes,

it's too late for somethings to be understood 

because sometimes,

things are better left unsaid

and because sometimes

I'm just a shitty poet.