Favourite song

Last night I stayed up till 2 a.m. and I went to sleep thinking about waking up in two hours to finish work
Got up at 5
Showered at 6
Took the usual commute at 7
And as I watched the scenery travel I realised that I hadn't thought about you yet

I used to write letters to you at 2 a.m.
Since you stopped speaking I've been occupying my time worrying about future tides
Questions still hum through my body and songs still strike chords

In the beginning I would be thrown into the past to drown
The happy space between the two of us
Now I get dragged to the memories of walking together in the rain and singing the first verse of my favourite song

I don't feel like calling it a favourite anymore

Mini me

If you ever see yourself reflected in my poems, just know
They are not about you.

These jumbled sentences come from a subconscious where dark thoughts reside from the full moon of the night

They don't mean anything unless you let them.

People can murder, cheat and lie in my mind

They hurt, cry and lash out on their kind

But never did I say 'This is about you'

Because all there was in my mind was your smile

I read my dream that I wrote a year ago and the descriptions and dates fit yours so much more

Stupid of me, I know, to go on comparing you to my notes

Because you're human,
Not a machine,
Not a concept,
Not a subject or a process
That could be improved it changed

I've loved you the way you always were

The fireworks of the Fourth of July can't compare to the ones that were there when I fell for you.

Mattresses

When you go to buy a mattress for your bed frame
You sleep on it
Lie down
Jump
Imagine how it would feel falling into it after a tired day
Imagine how it would feel to snuggle in it when you're heart broken
When it's raining outside and you snuggle in your blankets and the comfort of your mattress

Is that how you look for love?
Is that why you sleep around?
To see which body is better to hold at night?
To see who fits your hollow mold just right?

While some don't bother looking too much into it, after all it's just a mattress

Those my dear are the ones who have a very sad life because they don't see the beauty of a perfect mattress
They don't want to waste time and energy looking for it
They just want one and they will take the first one they find.
Is that how you look for love?
Is that why you're unsatisfied?

Things Hurt

When you're holding the phone up to your ear,
listening to the silence on her side
and just hoping to
whichever god was listening to you,
that she changes her mind
and that all of this doesn't feel like the end of something beautiful
because you both know how much this is gonna hurt.

Fears and anxiety were never supposed to come true
being honest was never supposed to be punished
But I don't know if I was supposed to love you.

I guess I'm at fault for pushing you away
But god I made a mistake