We All Want More

We all want more

More of this and more of that

Hermit crabs and holding hands

The third fourth and fifth

Never like the first

No nervous fit will ever adjust your skin

Over your tightly bound muscles like your first

Settling down with staple pins and blotched papers

I’ve tried mapping you but I’m too good for myself

I think too much

Maybe it’s a bad thing

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I’m scared to want you

Scared to ask for you

Scared of more of you

These irrational fears can’t keep me back

Only paperclips and swinging battens can

I still feel like a kid

Trying out a new candy for the first time

Yet somehow older

Because the world is pushing against me

Too much crowd and rush hours abound

My ship sets sail in the thunderstorms of Delhi

I’m just a passerby in this heart

I live in the lungs

Occasionally visiting the other one

My route follows through the heart and I see my friends in the other one

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We live in too many different organs to be able to pass each other on the street

Inspiration strikes like lightning to me

Like an unadvised visitor

Surprising me in my cartoon shorts

Quick!

Before it goes away!

Write it down!

draw a sketch!

memorise it!      kiss it!      hold it!

Comfort

                                   Massage

                                                                         Coming home

                                                                                                                           Intertwined

Pull yourself out

Warm from showers to pajamas

                                                              movies under blankets

                                                                                                              munchy munch crunch munch

The Third

People with rough hands are dangerous,
they have done thing against their wills,
out of their comfort
not afraid to fuck themselves over to get what they want
ready to let all they have, go down the drain as if a lottery cruise in the Caribbean

People with soft hands are also dangerous
they are warm and welcoming
seductive
charming you to be comfortable in them
they will trap you to be comfortable in them
forget all worldly worries as long as they are next to you
but the moment they leave
your house of mirrors will shatter
and announce you naked to the world

Just don't hold hands
It will kill you.

Staring

How I want someone to undress me
purely with their eyes
I want to be admired
and I want to be cherished
I don't want to overflow in his river of love
I hate tsunamis
they tempt with you sea shells and show you things people haven't seen before
your curiosity gets the better of you and you dive in
you go closer
and that's how they get you
they overflow
and you're left drowning not knowing what to do
you don't know how it all happened
how you ended up here
all you wanted was to collect movie tickets and sea shells
now you find broken pieces of glass shining in the sun pretty
Do you really think it is all worth it?
What do you think is your worth?
clench your jaws as much as you can
but no amount of grinding can pull back your tears
try to look up at the ceiling hoping they'd go back in
but they just fall over like sink full of dishes that someone forgot to do with the water running
I don't remember what my body looks like anymore
Rather, I don't care
All I know are the eyes that stare at me when I wake up and walk to the bathroom
they always greet me with the same amount of determination to face the day
And so, I go
I keep going
till its all over and I'm left alone in the bed again
with all of my clothes, pillows, books and pens.



no amount of sleep will replace you.

Bookmarks

it's unfortunate that you can kiss pages
that the stranger in the library wouldn't care about

the librarian will shelve each book with indifference

do they have a favourite book?

one that they like putting back?

maybe because it sits so perfectly in the shelf

maybe because she misses looking at it when it's gone

maybe it fills the odd Gap because that is
the only one that matters in the entire library

maybe the stranger will notice your stamps

maybe she will try to kiss it

to feel what you felt in the moment

how sick