ghosting

it's been so long since i've been heart broken

sometimes it's months before i think about you again

your face is always a blurred memory

in the back of my car,

sitting in front of me - laughing and smiling your toothy grins

i read a news article

your favourtie musician 

talking about getting ghosted

the end of the article talked about what ghosting means

but i already knew, thanks to you

so i open the socials and type your name in the search bar

i look at your face

i look at photos of you, taken from different angles

i don't know her, i cannot place her face in my memories

why was i ever so attached to you?

Roosting for you!

I find myself in strange territory- 

A world of chickens,

where the chicklets hatch,

leaving eggshells in their path;

sincerely for me to tread on.

Like a cat, I weave through,

a gentle paw along the earth.

Body contorting to the crowd

"Don't touch me!!" says my spine

"Curious..." say my eyes

my expressions never giving me away.

It should feel familiar,

stepping around everyone's eggshells.

Each step, each turn, each movement

betrayal

Unfaithful

sponsoring war against myself

Phone calls

Ring ring ri-

The repititon is provoking

Studies suggest, tone of voice makes a difference

Most misunderstandings happen on text

So I've started calling people

I miss you

How are you

Sorry i never call you

Sorry I don't respond to your text

Why did you not think about me?

Why did you not call me? 

I am trying to be here 

Now

Trying

Ring ring ring

Pick up

So I can hear your voice

that you still care about me 

maybe you were just busy for a moment

Ring ring ring

So i know you don't hate me 

that you'll be decent with me

Surely you thought of me

Ring ring ring

So I know you're alive

You were just really preoccupied 

take pity on me 

Ring ring ring

Nevermind 

3:30 a.m. 6th March

The fire on the midnight stove

Is a little beating heart 

Insufficinet and warm

Aware of the timer ticking

Each second passing 

Pulsing in blue and yellow

It quiets down soon

The water has boiled now. 

My alarms warn me gently

The world shall be waking up soon

So much work is yet to be done 

And i have lost another night to you

Will i ever recover?